One Year

Once again I find myself awake,
Thinking about how, so often, I was
Happy despite the horror.

Maybe it’s the sedentary restlessness,
Maybe the steady diet of Diet Coke and ibuprofen,
But once again I find myself awake.

It is an empty consciousness,
The white walls remind me of when I thought I’d never be
Happy despite the horror.

I remember, overwhelmed, consumed,
Staring at them and hating you for what you had done to me.
Once again I find myself awake.

Do you remember that morning, love?
I begged you to forget, to let us be
Happy despite the horror.

I wanted to build castles with you;
Later I became the sea.
Once again I find myself awake,
Happy despite the horror.

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