Monthly Archives: July 2002

After admitting that they had viewed the admissions decisions of several Yale applicants without authorization, several Princeton admissions officials have revealed that they have no life. “And when I say no life, I mean no life,” one official, who asked … Continue reading →

I have this theory that I am currently referring to as my 3-for-1 theory. It deals with a conversation between Person A and Person B (which may include more than one person). Assumptions: -The conversation is premeditated by Person A … Continue reading →

To National Sleep Dynamics, Inc: Dear Sir or Madam, I am interested in participating in your sleep study, “Affects of Shift Work on Sleep Habits.” I think I qualify for your study because I work at night. As you suggested, … Continue reading →

Click. The file cabinet opened, and with it a long-postponed chore: the weekly cleaning. Well, he had intended for it to be a weekly cleaning back in January when he was high on ambition, but resolutions of that nature have … Continue reading →

Note: HSPVA is my old high school, The High School for the Performing and Visual Arts HSPVA Library Schedule May 2002 May 6-10: Closed for AP testing. No check-out, no check-in. May 13-17: Closed for AP testing. No check-out, no … Continue reading →

Note: HSPVA is my old high school, The High School for the Performing and Visual Arts HSPVA Withdrawal affects over zero teenagers each year. Signs of HSPVA Withdrawal include: – constantly surfing pva02.com – standing in front of your microwave … Continue reading →

All my life I’ve tried desperately to dig up whatever latent talent I might have that would catapult me into fame, right up there with Mozart. I’ve pretty much run the gamut of the arts world – violin, viola, voice, … Continue reading →

Alanis Morisette Writes New Song Still riding her fame of five years ago, singer/songwriter Alanis Morisette released a new single today that will be included in an upcoming album. “My critics say I’m running out of ideas, but I really … Continue reading →