I’m developing a theory of myself. It really only applies in certain circumstances, but where it does apply, it applies almost without fault. The theory is that my consciousness or whatever is, that I am, that my concept of myself is that of an emotional core surrounded by a protective layer of reason. The layer is thickest when I am in top form—when I’ve had enough sleep, am well, etc. It is eroded through fatigue, sickness, and stress, among other things. When people hurt me (whether intentionally or not), the hurt has to travel through the rational layer before it can wound the emotional core. Therefore, it’s easier to get to me when I’m sleepy, stressed out, or sick. Once the rational core is punctured through, emotion gushes out messily. It’s not a pretty sight, for those of you who have not yet witnessed this phenomenon. That’s why I feel “emotionally on edge” when I’m very stressed out or sleep-deprived.
The problem with this theory is that it contradicts my theory that I am at heart a rational being, a Thinker rather than a Feeler (with apologies to Myers-Briggs). This is why I think it really only applies in certain situations. In other situations, another sort of visualization would have to be used.